


Between Friends

by simplyvic



Category: Minecraft (Video Game), Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Accidental Confession, Dorks in Love, Drunken Confessions, Falling In Love, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Humor, Friends to Lovers, Friendship, Friendship/Love, Hurt/Comfort, Idiots in Love, Late Night Conversations, Light-Hearted, M/M, Mutual Pining, Not Actually Unrequited Love, Pining, Slow Burn, Unrequited Love, Yearning, karl keeps having dreams about sapnap, karlnap, no beta we die like men, they're in love ur honor
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-09
Updated: 2021-01-23
Packaged: 2021-03-14 20:09:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 7,207
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28551405
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/simplyvic/pseuds/simplyvic
Summary: As he sat on the rock-hard floor, he could not stop himself from smiling. Emotions being a mess, where he swung from being sorrowful to evident with affection. The bitter and pessimistic thoughts quickly turning into something lovely.They were warm and welcoming.“Hah..”, a sigh left him, as the smile on his mouth wouldn’t leave his lips. Grinning like an idiot.That’s what he was. An idiot in love.‘I’m a love-struck fool.’-------------------Karl's mind a blurry mess. Unable to differentiate, between platonic and romantic love. Constant thoughts about the one he loves- the one, that he wants to hold so badly. His yearning and affection so obvious, yet he denies them. Karl keeps having dreams about Sapnap, where they exchange soft-lipped kisses and tender touches. His dreams so realistic, that he can't tell which is reality, and which isn't.Title and story inspired by the song "affection" by BETWEEN FRIENDS.
Relationships: Karl Jacobs & Sapnap, Karl Jacobs/Sapnap, Karlnap - Relationship
Comments: 27
Kudos: 134





	1. Between You And I

A shiver went down his spine as he felt the tender touch of another’s hand touching his palm. Swift fingers locking together with his into a tight embrace. Heat rushing through his entire body-mainly to his cheeks. He softly glanced to his left, seeing Sapnap's hand interlocked with his, as the other hand held the steering wheel. Too embarrassed to look into his beloved's eyes. Eyes focused on the road and on what's ahead of them. Karl could hear him snicker under his breath as he recklessly drove, speeding through the streets of North Carolina.

A breath of frustration escaped his lips- his rapidly racing heart beat was uncontrollable.

Sapnap knew just how little it took to rile Karl up. He knew what drove him crazy. What sweet nothings he had to whisper in his ear, where to touch him to ignite a fire in his heart. Just how easy it was- he knew it all. How his breathy voice makes Karl shudder as he whispers into his ear. How just his smile makes him heat up and the way Sapnap’s voice sounds like honey to him.

Karl peeked to his side, his cheeks heating up uncontrollably. Mind filled with admiration and devotion for the person sitting next to him. As their fingers stayed intertwined, there was only one person he could think about. Him.

Sitting close enough to hear his breath. His short giggles and being able to see his face light up from the corner of his eye.

Karl couldn’t be more ecstatic. There was nothing that he wished for more than for this moment to last an eternity. Everlasting sweetness.

Till the end of time.

Just the two of them. A car and the destiny that’s yet to come.

Driving for hours on end. To escape the deafening noise, the crowd and the town altogether. Nothing stopping them from driving away to a distant and isolated place. An area where there is no one else besides them. Perhaps a sunny and a gritty beach, a seashore filled with rocks. An abandoned shack in the middle of woods or a windy mountain with snow covering its entirety.

It didn’t matter where they drove, as long as Karl was next to Sapnap. As long as he had him by his side, nothing else mattered. He was delighted. Intoxicated with love.

Hands getting sweaty from the touch, an overplayed song playing on the radio, and the drilling sound of the car.

Karl knew he was in love with him. How much he craved his touch, how he wanted to put his hands through his hair. How he wanted to put his lips on Sapnap’s, and the way he wished that the sweet sensation of their hands touching lasted an eternity.

He loved him so, so much.

A love-struck fool.  
The car stops.

The swift movement of Sapnap’s hand flashes in front of Karl’s eyes. Hand holding up his chin ,meeting his eyes. Wide-eyed staring into each other’s eyes with pure devotion.

Sapnap was quiet, both of them were.

Too busy infatuated with each other to spare a word. To exchange even a singular sentence.

Karl being pushed against the inner car door, unable to escape-not that he would even if he had the chance. Eyes softly closing as their lips got closer to each other, noses nearly touching. Lips parting.

Adrenaline rush. So much of it that he nearly forgot how to breathe, eyes jumping from his lips to his eyes, his heart a ticking bomb.

Karl leaned in, close enough for them to share a gentle kiss- a soft-lipped exchange.

But before he was able to do that, Sapnap put his hand on Karl’s mouth. Stopping him from coming closer- unable to kiss him.

“Karl”, he murmured in his ear.

“Y-Yes?”, his voice shook.

“Wake up,” he looked directly into Karl’s eyes. “It’s time to get back to reality- None of this is real.”

A soft shiver went down the entirety of Karl’s body as he heard those words.

-

“What are you-”, unable to finish his words. He woke up.

His hand up in the air reaching out to the ceiling. “-talking about.”

“Ah.”

A sudden realization hit as he realized where he lied. His house, his bed. Sapnap nowhere in sight, and the smell of lavender candles. An exaggerated sigh leaving his lips, as his hands met his face.

A muffled- frustrated groan being the only thing to be heard.

There's a blaring, incessant beeping. An alarm clock. The same repetitive one that he hears everyday. Restraining himself from smashing it to tiny little pieces.

With the corner of his eye, he could see his phone light up. Continuous buzzing- hoping it was from none other than him. With a tired roll to the side, he snatched the phone and swiftly unplugged it from the charger. Looking up into the bright screen and with a disappointed look realizing it was a message from Quackity, not Sapnap.

“Aye man, we’re playinh Jackbox later. Wanna hop in and play with us?”, the message read.

There was an obvious typo.

“Hellooooooooooo”

“Don’t leave me on read.”

“Karl I know you can see my messages.”

“Hurry up and reply you idiot.”,the buzzing continued. Quackity was spamming Karl, impatiently typing new messages with each passing minute. A new one coming in before Karl can even read the older ones.

“Morning Big Q”, he finally replied. “I just woke up, stop spamming.”

“Is that a yes or no?”

“Depends if I’m in the mood later. Just had some honked up dream.”

“OoooOooo, what was it about?”

“Not telling you, but to say the least it felt way too realistic.” he typed.

“You can’t just tell me you had a dream and not tell me what it was about, dude. Not cool.”

Karl took a deep breath before typing. Still feeling the lingering touch of Sapnap’s hand on his cheek. The way his skin felt on his.

“Fine”, he sent. “Me and Sapnap met up, we were driving somewhere...don’t know where but somewhere inside of my car. We definitely were in North Carolina. It just felt oddly realistic.”, Karl didn’t release any of the details that happened in the dream. Without mentioning the almost kiss that happened between them. And completely glossing over them holding hands, while Sapnap drove.

As he finished, he remembered the way their hands intertwined. The way Sapnap held on and would not let go of his hand. How they deeply stared into each other’s eyes.

All of it. He could remember all of it.

Yet another frustrated sigh escaped his lips.

Karl closed his phone. Ignoring the buzzing sound coming from his cell. Heavily breathing in and out. Lips closing and parting with each singular breath.

Still tired and half asleep. He got up from the bed. The mattress squeaking underneath him as he sat on it. Messy hair and tired eyes. Wobbling his way to the bathroom.

As he made his way to the restroom, he splashed ice-cold water in his face. Forcing himself to wake up, to think straight.

For the past few weeks, his mind has been a mess.

Continuous dreams, continuous thoughts about him. None other than Sapnap on his mind. Like a curse that he cannot get rid of, being at the back of his mind at all times.

“Get your shit together, you don’t have a crush on him.”, he stated looking at himself in the mirror. His reflection meeting his eyes, obvious eye bags on his face. Water dripping down from his hair, right into the sink. Hands gripping the sink harder than he even thought he was capable of, holding onto dear life.

“I do not like him, I don’t.”

“It’s just...friendly affection. Nothing serious.”, he spoke words of affirmation to himself.

Trying to convince himself, that the words he spoke were true.

But they were definite lies.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! Author here , I would like to add that if the CC's involved ever say that they are uncomfortable with this kind of content, then this fanfiction will be automatically deleted. (Today is the 10th of Jan.)
> 
> Hope you enjoyed the first chapter. I apologize if I make any major spelling mistakes, English isn't my first language.
> 
> \- Vic


	2. Between Me And Myself

A futile attempt at trying to block out his thoughts. To escape from reality for just a dash, a short while, to convince himself that he does not have feelings for his best friend. That all of it was simply, some sort of complex _delusion_ of his mind.

Jolting away from the sink, hands in motion. Looking directly at himself in the mirror.

‘ _God, I’m a mess. A massive mess’_

A sudden ringing fills out his ears, loud beeping. The familiar sound of his phone ringing, someone calling.

Karl had his phone on mute, yet there was a single person that he had notifications on at all times. It was Sapnap.

He knew it was him.

As the realization hit, he bolted out of the bathroom. Sprinting towards the place where he previously left his phone. Hitting his bare foot on the edge of the door on his way out. His recklessness cost him massive anguish. He arched his back in pain and cringed at the sight before him. It didn’t bleed, but it hurt _so fucking badly_.

He could not stop, knowing that the phone would stop ringing at any moment. He could not miss the call, he wouldn’t allow himself to. After all, he’s been waiting to hear his voice ever since he woke up. Craving for Sapnap to whisper his name and to jokingly flirt with him. That’s all he wanted. That’s all he’s been waiting for.

Rushing through the door frame of his bedroom and carelessly throwing himself on his bed. It squeaking underneath him, due to its old age. There it was, his phone. He was right, Sapnap was calling him.

He picked up.

“Hello?”, Karl panted.

“Jesus, did you ran a marathon or something?”, he said jokingly, soft laughter abrupting. “Morning Karl.”, he said right after.

There he was, Sapnap. His voice, his gentle, hoarse voice that he craved for so badly. The way it melted him like chocolate in hot weather, right through his fingertips.

As cliché as it sounds, that’s exactly how he felt.

A sigh of relief escaped his lips as he heard his voice. A soft smile forming on his lips.

Karl lied down on the bed with his phone in hand, overwhelming emotions filling each corner of his body.

“Morning, Sapnap”, he said softly. His happiness so obvious, you could hear it through his voice.”Why are you calling?”, Karl asked.

Deep down, he just wanted a confirmation. A confirmation that Sapnap called just to hear his voice, just to talk to him. He wanted him to feel the same way he felt about him.

‘ _Calm down._ ’

“Nothing serious really, just wanted to ask how you were.”, he stated. “Quackity was spamming me earlier, asking me to call you. Saying some shit about how you ‘only pick up my calls’ and all that.”, short giggles could be heard.

There it was.

‘ _Just wanted to ask how you were_ ’, Karl repeated Sapnap’s words inside of his head. His thoughts focused on that singular sentence.

Mind so fuzzy with fondness. Yearning for Sapnap, _for him_.

“Yeah- I mean, I did kind of forget to answer Big Q. I went to the bathroom, why is he spamming everyone so early in the morning in the first place?”, Karl asked as he looked at the plain ceiling.

“Who knows, he just really wants to play Jackbox. For whatever reason.”, he answered. “Are you going to join?”, Sapnap asked with curiosity.

Karl gulped, such a small gesture. The bare minimum yet he was happy that Sapnap asked, that he cared enough to ask if he would join too.

“I’m considering it, if my headache goes away- that is.”, Karl stated.

“A headache? Are you not feeling well?”

“Don’t know, I just kind of woke up with one? Maybe because of the dream I had.”

“Dream?”, Sapnap questioned.

Blood quickly bumping into Karl’s heart. Filling every part of his body, as his heart dropped. He messed up, he _knew he messed up_ . Mentioning it was a mistake, and in front of him was a closed road. A road in which he knew he had no other choice but to turn around. He couldn’t go past it and tell Sapnap the truth. The truth of what really happened in the dream, _there was no way_.

They sat there in silence for a few seconds, as Karl was thinking of an answer.

Deeply breathing in and out.

‘ _Karl, don’t panic.’_

He could have simply told the same thing he told Quackity. The version of the dream, where he _shortened_ and _deleted_ the most important parts. Glossing over the lingering touch, and Sapnap’s soft lips that felt and looked so real. He knew he could lie, that he had no other choice but to lie. Yet the words wouldn’t come out of his mouth. Something stopping him- his conscience not allowing him to mutter the words. He couldn’t muster the courage to say it.

It was so easy to lie through text, so easy to fake emotions and feelings.

But when it came to the real thing, he couldn’t do it.

“Karl?"  
  
The sound of his name coming out of the brunette’s mouth sent shivers down his spine. He could hear it in his tone, the soft _tender_ worry in his voice. The tone so delicate and subtle, to the point where it was barely recognizable, yet he knew. He observed him.

As he heard his voice, he snapped back to reality. Getting away from his worrisome thoughts, his constant overthinking.

He took a deep breath.

In and out.

“It wasn’t a bad dream or anything.”, Karl started with hesitation in his voice. A big part of him knowing that he could not- under any circumstances, release the details. “It was- well we uhm, we were driving together- in my car specifically. Me and you.”, he swallowed a knot in his throat.

Gulping down all his anxiety and fears.

“And we-”  
  
Sudden knocking and an astonishingly loud doorbell erupted through the call, coming from Sapnap’s end.

“What the hell?”, Sapnap questioned. He himself was confused on why, and who was ringing the doorbell of his apartment.

“Shit- sorry, Karl. You’re going to have to continue your story sometime later. I think it’s my mom, I completely forgot that she was going to come visit.”, Sapnap stated.

“Ah fuck, this is completely on me. My bad, I’ll have to end the call.”, and with a swift move of his finger, he was gone.

A beep. The sound of a person leaving the call.

The call ended.

He left.  
  
A sudden feeling of numbness, rash emotions coming through, unspoken words and sentences that he wished he had said. All of it coming in, hitting him right in his face. Punching him in his guts. Unresolved feelings and a massive headache.  
  
A clusterfuck.  
  
So many thoughts, so many of them that he lost count. A mess, that's what he was. A mess and he knew it very well. All of it spiraling through his mind.

Anxiety rippling his skin, followed by jitters and an indescribable feeling of relief. His heart, finally being able to go back to its original beat, to relax afresh.  
  
He stumbled down- off his bed, right into the floor with his phone in hand. Holding onto it, as he hugged his legs. His bare feet touching the ice-cold floor. His body unstable and tense. Looking down at his knees- closing his eyes and sitting there, in pure silence. Not a single other sound to be heard.  
  
An exhale.  
  
The stillness befell the room.  
  
"What a- I'm such a loser. Damn."  
  
A laugh.  
  
He laughed at the pathetic words he spoke, at his stuttering and shenanigans. Erupting in sudden, self-deprecating laughter.

‘ _I’m always looking for affection in all the wrong places.’_

“For how much longer can I- Can I hide this feeling? Gosh, I’m such a loser. A massive freak.”

“What even was I thinking? Why did I even bring up the stupid dream? I should have changed the subject, played it off somehow.”

He spiraled into a hole of overthinking, as his body remained still. Not a single limb of his moved, he sat there in silence yet again. Thinking of all the possible scenarios, of all the better things he could have said. Of how much more he could have appreciated the call, maybe flirted with Sapnap a bit. Complimented his looks or joked around, yet he decided to talk about the dream. Due to his nervousness, due to him being a _mess._ He could not mutter any other words, change the topic or laugh about stupid things.

Maybe because, some part of him wanted him to know. Some part of him wanted to tell Sapnap about the dream, to be honest about his feelings. To tell him the entire truth, his mind split in half. A half, where the sides couldn’t decide who the winner was.

He looked up, above at the door frame. The open door where he previously rushed through, to get to the call.

He reminded himself, of how just a few minutes ago, he unknowingly bolted through that exact spot.

Like a fool in love, he ran with passion as he could only think of Sapnap.

At that moment, that’s all that mattered to him. To pick up the call, to hear his voice, to softly banter with him and make stupid jokes. Anything was enough, as long as he talked with him.

Now he sits there, in shambles as he overthinks every single thing he said during the call. Overthinking every aspect of it, and how he could have handled the call better.

“I-”

‘ _I like him.’_

It hit him.

He knew, since the beginning, he was fully aware of it. Weeks have passed by and the feelings accumulated. Put themselves into a big _ball_ of emotions and hit him right in his heart, where it hurt the most.

He simply decided to deny these feelings, to deny everything. Yet there was no escape. He could not escape it.

“I really- I really fucking like him.”

‘He’s so adorable- Everything he does is so sweet and nice and- I could go on and on about him and I-”, he cut himself off.

“I want to be with him.”

A flush complementing his cheeks, the redness on his face so obvious.

As he sat on the rock-hard floor, he could not stop himself from smiling. Emotions being a mess, where he swung from being sorrowful to evident with affection. The bitter and pessimistic thoughts quickly turning into something lovely.

They were warm and welcoming.

“Hah..”, a sigh left him ,as the smile on his mouth wouldn’t leave his lips. Grinning like an idiot.

That’s what he was. An idiot in love.

‘ _I’m a love-struck fool.’_

‘ _His short giggles, his smile. His everything, he’s so beautiful. He’s tantalizing.’_

He grabbed his head, ruffling his hair in the process. Making an even bigger mess out of it, slowly resting his hands on the core of his neck.

“I can’t deny it- I just simply can’t deny it any longer.”, he said. “I can’t, I just can’t- No matter how hard I try I always want to come back to him, to hear that stupid laughter of his.”

“He’s so cute..and for what?”, he sat there in embarrassment.

Karl was at a loss for words, so many things he wanted to say. So many things he wanted to appreciate about him, he even adored flaws of his. Things that Sapnap didn’t like about himself, he loved it. He loved all of him.

Sapnap was a dork, and so was Karl.

They matched each other perfectly, their daily bickering, annoying each other constantly, and playful fights from time to time. All of it was enjoyable, close enough to jokingly call each other ‘Fiances’.

Sapnap calling Karl his ‘fiancé’, mustering ‘I love you’ here and there, while unknowingly making Karl’s heart skip a beat. Making him melt.

He sat there, in silence.

His mind filled with one person only.

And there was nothing he could do about it, he did not want to fight the feeling. He simply accepted it, accepted his defeat. Realizing that he was not going to be the winner in this situation, and that no matter what he will have a crush on his best friend.

He finally sorted out his emotions, welcoming his uncanny feelings.

_Silence._

Karl looked at his phone, still in hand. Messages from Quackity swarming his lock screen, filling it up to the core.

He opened them, and slowly and surely he typed “Sorry Big Q, won’t be able to join the Jackbox game today. I’m going to a hairdresser, planning to go back to pink.”

It was a hasty decision on his part, but he was sure of it.

Not knowing why, but his overwhelming emotions wanted him to move. To do something, to do anything. He needed to go do something with himself or else he would combust, _into tiny little pieces._

So what was his first thought? To dye his hair a majestic pink.

And so he did.


	3. Between Me And You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Karl is met with yet another call.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Originally, this chapter was going to be a 'filler chapter'. Yet it somehow ended up being the longest one so far.
> 
> Anyways, enjoy.
> 
> Also I use he/him pronouns :) So, if you ever happen to be referring to me, please use them.

Karl closed the door behind him with a soft swing, creaking underneath his footsteps and as the sound of a metal hitting another metal object could be heard. He waved at the hairdresser, who stood behind the translucent foggy glass window. Sparkling as the sun hit it, forming an almost invisible rainbow. Which quickly went away, as Karl looked at what was in front of him. Taking in a deep breath, then exhaling it, as he weirdly stood in front of the shut door, without a movement. Strangers passing by and giving him blank and confused looks- notorious stares, as a grin formed at the corners of his lips. 

With a swing of his leg and the move of his arm, he sluggishly took in the wireless earbuds out of his pockets, connecting them to his phone and playing a familiar song in his ear drums, that was oh-so-pleasant.

_You're taking what you want right from me._

A solitary bird flying above him, at face value. Almost grazing his face and leaving a mark, unusual and unexpected. Not paying much attention to it, he carried on.

_Wrapped up in so much life, It's just the way you hold me._

His hair, which just hours ago was a fuzzy shaggy brown color, now a coiffed deep pink. Tidy and the pinkish shade of it so vivid, bright and elastic. Soft and fuzzy, waiting to be ruffled, for someone to put a hand through it and deeply touch at his scalp, grazing the roots of his hair.

_You're picking miscellaneously, wrapped up in all the choices you're not giving to me._

A faint smile forming at his lips, glancing around curiously as he looked at the passing strangers. Giving them a quick glance, with his humid and wide-open eyes. Softly inhaling and appreciating the nature surrounding him, taking a peek at the park that happened to be near, its botanical and well-kept plants seeming so nice to the touch. 

Sluggishly parading himself around the town, as he made his way over to his car. Not caring how long this walk- that seemed endless, would take him. He was simply enjoying himself, continuously paying attention to the smaller and unimportant things surrounding the planet.

The hot sun- sizzling at his skin, the hot temperature almost burning him, if it wasn’t for the fact that the sun was around 93 million miles away. Sweating in the scorching weather, that felt to only be getting warmer. Not caring about the warmth at his skin, and simply carrying on.

\----

Turning the key in his wrought-iron fence, in front of his house, he finally made it home. In one piece, as the skin on his arms sizzled in almost pain. Feeling the intensity of the heat at his bare skin, the weather so warm that it felt burning- burning him alive.

With a swift motion he took off his shoes, leaving him in his sweaty and smelly socks, that reeked of the familiar scent. Before he was able to get upstairs, to his room, he felt a ringing in his pocket. Where he previously left his phone, the buzzing being uncontrollable- feeling it shaking on his side.

Hurriedly disconnecting his wireless headphones and throwing them into the nothingness, somewhere not in his sight anymore.

Still panting and sweating, he took his phone in hand, groaning at the thought of having to answer a call so early in the morning, _again_.

He took his phone out of his pocket. Exhibiting the name “Sapnap” on it. There he was, again, calling him at yet another warm morning. With a shaky breath of hesitation, chills overran his entire body. A shudder filled him to the core, the sensation causing him to choke on his own spit. The way his fingertips shook at the sight that befell his eyes, _how could he forget that the only person that he has notifications on is Sapnap._ So stupid and his mind a blurry mess, overfilled with emotions and a sharp pain building up in his chest. His breath became shaky as he hesitated, standing in front of the buzzing iPhone. Ringing so loudly throughout his ears, the sound deafening. Overfilled with unalterable feelings of affection, the spontaneous emotion in his chest overriding his entire body. 

Karl’s cheeks blushed a deeper red- as if they weren’t already flushed and melting at the heat of the sun, just seconds ago. Now overridden with fresh, yet familiar feelings, making him feel at home. Adoring the sight before him, as he stood there in shock, the deep and abiding sensation going into his brain.

_Should I pick up?_

A question befell his thought process, continuing to stare at the mobile in his hand. Shaking in his unsteady grip. Emotions a rattling mess.

_He picked up._

“Hello?” 

“Karl!”

The tone in his voice, so soft and tender, so hoarse and pleasing to hear. The glee in his tone so clear, feeling like the gentle touch of the warm sun. Obviously amused by the sound of Karl’s voice.

At that tone, Karl could do nothing more but melt.

Unlike he originally planned- dying his hair on the same day he called Sapnap and realized his sloppy feelings. It has already been three days, since they last spoke. Due to the fact that the hairdresser had no free space that day, rightfully so, as normally you don’t just barge in into someone’s business and demand automatic results. Karl suddenly felt shame, as he remembered the embarrassing moment of calling the hairdresser and planning a visit, re-visiting his memories. 

Three whole days and nights since he last could talk one-on-one with his beloved. The one that he cherished so dearly. 

“Is this becoming a routine now? You calling me in the morning every few days?”, he made sure for the tone in his voice to sound joking, making sure that Sapnap knew it was just his usual bickering and not mistaking it for actual annoyance.

“You don’t seem to mind? After all, you _love_ talking to me, don’t you?” , teasing him through the call. The word ‘love’ rolling off of his tongue in a slow and demeaning manner, the smirk in his tone so obvious and evident. You could hear the snarkiness across the states, subduing Karl in the process. Acutely playing with the strings of his heart.

Karl’s eyes widened, flushing slightly at the spoken words. Just minutes ago, tearing apart between picking up and rejecting the call, realizing he made the right choice.

He choked on his breath, unplanned and uncalled for, Sapnap bursted out in loud laughter that erupted through the call, followed by a snicker and short giggles.

“Is my choking funny to you?”

“Yeah, it is.”  
  
“How rude, I feel hurt.”

“Oh, _sure you are_.” 

A tingling in his heart- short, only to disappear in seconds. Something about Sapnap’s voice felt different, unsure if it was because his familiar low voice was still sleepy and clearly sleep-deprived or if the voice seemed different to him, only because he realized his honest pent-up yearning. Followed by sleepless and restless nights filled with imaginary thoughts of the other, subduing himself in his own trap of emotions. Mixed feelings overlapping his thoughts and falling prey to the sweet passion. 

_Puppy love._

Eager to reach out and hold him tight, to kiss him hastily, pulling him into rough and sloppy kisses filled with devotion and fierce fondness. Leaving no space between them and for no one but themselves to exist. The passion so evident, it’d be impossible to deny the two share mutual feelings. That’s how he spent his nights, restlessly imagining fake scenarios in his head, rolling around in his sheets, as a charming and adoring smile would meet the corner of his lips. Innocent fondness for the other.

Quickly snapping himself back to reality, as he realized his mind went off into a distant place. Spiralling back to the back of his head, where his desires hid, only to be awoken when he was alone with himself and his restless deliberation.

“You haven’t answered my question.”, Sapnap spoke.

“Which one?” 

“I asked whether you _love_ listening to my voice. You haven’t answered.” , the tone in his voice so soft and tender, reaching for amusement in the other person. A reaction, a way to rile Karl up.

“The honk-”, he stuttered at his own words, unable to form a full sentence as distracting thoughts filled out his mind. 

With each new sentence that Sapnap spoke, Karl’s mind spiralled, unable to think straight. To answer back, to come up with a snarky comeback. The warmth in his chest growing with each word, filling him up to the core, unsure if his skin was setting ablaze due to the scorching weather or the man on the other side of the call.

“I’m not answering _that._ ”

“Oh , come on- you know I’m right. Just say it, no need to be shy.” , the sarcastic tone in his statement resounding through the call. Constantly keeping Karl on edge, making him feel like he was slowly falling apart, at the sound of his voice echoing through his eardrums.

“Let’s change the subject”, Karl stated, rolling his eyes slightly at the words, as the raven chuckled lowly. 

He couldn’t help but smile at the question, hesitating whether he should answer it or not. Mild bewilderment entering him, as he was playing out his cards. Determining which option would work out the best for him, not wanting to take loses, or possibly- ruin their friendship.

“Pussy.” , Sapnap snickered at the boy.

“Oh, _I am the pussy_?”, almost sounding offended at the spoken words. A fake dramatic gasp erupting through the call, teasing him and acting insulted.

As Karl finally took off his outerwear, the pink haired man made his way over to the fancy kitchen. Big enough to have at least fifteen people dining there, definitely not being short on money or lacking resources. A shine came through the translucent window, blinding Karl’s sight with a flash of white light. Blocking his view and causing his eyes to squint at the action, furrowing his eyebrows in the process. He grabbed the curtains of his single narrow window, hurriedly gripping it in his hand as he shoved them and blocked out the bright shine. 

He groaned at the heat surrounding him, although the A/C worked perfectly fine. Not a single problem following it, it still felt _too hot_ in his house. Almost making him go insane at the heat, rubbing itself on him and entering his body. 

“Well, if you’re not a pussy then prove it.” 

Karl grabbed the nearest cup, pouring filtered tap water in it. Mildly cold, not necessarily freezing, nor was it the best way to calm down his nerves. Enough to lower his temperature slightly and make him feel at ease. 

“Oh, yeah?”

“Yeah.”

Something in Sapnap’s tone felt challenging. Low and gentle, yet confident and almost mocking. Rolling the ‘Yeah’ in a proud way off of his tongue, completely unbothered. An emphasis feeling of certainty in his tone, the deep voice of his caressing Karl slowly. Making him feel at home and igniting the chaotic feelings of affection in his heart even more. Making him stumble at his command, enjoying the moment profusely.

_‘He’s going to be the death of me.’_

“Is this your way of teasing me? Are you enjoying yourself?”, he joked. Trying to change the topic, alter it at least a bit.” Do you want to hear me say that _so badly_? It makes you sound desperate.”

“Well, what if I am desperate?”, a low chuckle could be heard. “What if I’m enjoying myself, huh? What will you do?”, the teasing tone in his voice utterly crystal clear.

“You’re an idiot, Sapnap.”, Karl tried to sound insulted, to act as if he didn’t enjoy having long calls with him. The thrill in him is a little bit too obvious. Making his lie self-evident.

“I’m not the one who’s too scared to admit the truth. I can say it with ease.”, as he said those words, Karl could imagine the way Sapnap looked. An almost clear image of the other, his ragged coal-colored hair. Ruffled, as tired eyes blinked heavily, a hand behind his head as he lied down on the bed. Sheets covering him and a pillow under his head. A small smirk covering the corner of his lips, slightly closed eyes and raised eyebrows. A smug expression following him, as he held the phone in his hand. Firm and slender fingers holding onto his cell, holding tight to not let go. Lovingly caressing the back of his head with the other hand, followed by a joyful ,yet tired expression. Lovingly whispering sweet words into his phone, that he held onto so firmly and carefully. His imagination running wild, allowing himself to have unrealistic thoughts, letting himself imagine things, to simply enjoy the thought of his loved one. Sapnap’s plump lips opening with each word, glistering as he would lick his lips from time to time. Unrealistic ideas and fantasies filling up his mind. A spinning mess, distracted at the thought of being there with him. By being able to lie down next to him and cuddle by his side. to softly put his hands through his hair and kiss him gently on the lips. To love him like nobody else has ever done. There’s nothing more than he wanted more, letting his imagination run wild, as the raven-haired man on the other side of the call sat there in silence. Faint and mischievous giggles being able to be heard from time to time. The things he’d do to be together there with him, to hold him tight under the covers as they spooned. Grabbing him roughly by his shirt and not letting go, as if he was going to disappear at any given moment. Unable to resist the urge to fantasize and let himself be stuck in his mixture of yearning and devotion. Sapnap’s broad shoulders hugging him tightly, firm and protective, a hug filled with love and care. One that is so obviously loving. 

The things he’d do if they were able to meet up.

Completely distracted and letting his mind run wild, he swiftly brought himself back to reality. As the realization hit, that he was still on the call. Sapnap patiently waiting for his response, waiting as his breath could be heard from time to time.

“Hello? You there?”, he asked.

“Oh- Oh yeah, yeah I am here, sorry, I just got distracted. Don’t mind me.”, he stated nervously. Obviously embarrassed at the idea of Sapnap knowing about the things he was thinking about- his fantasies.

“Going back to the topic-”, he coughed as he took a sip of the cold water. “I never denied what you said.”

“Oh, did you now? Because the things you’ve been saying, sounded very much like denial to me.” 

“You’re in denial, Karl.”, Sapnap repeated.

Karl swallowed down all his fears and anxiety. Getting rid of all of the negative scenarios in his head, things that could have possibly gone negatively if he said the wrong thing. If he spoke in a wrong tone or made his little crush evident.

“Fine, I do _love_ listening to your voice. I’m not scared to admit it, I really do enjoy our calls.”

_‘Oh god, why did I say that.’_

The call was followed by silence.

A silence that felt like forever.

_Click clack._

The clock was ticking, seconds went by and the scorching hot weather wasn’t calming down any time soon.

“Oh- Oh wow, I didn’t expect you to actually say it. I thought you were going to pussy out.”

Karl couldn’t have been more relieved at that moment, it felt as if his heart dropped, stopped pounding in his chest, and then continued to do so right after. As he heard the voice of Sapnap, his fears went away in that exact moment.

“Are you happy now? Satisfied with my answer? Maybe you’re the one who’s too scared to admit that you enjoy calling me out of nowhere. You seem to be self projecting.”

“Oh no- no no no no, you got it all wrong, Karl. I’m not scared to state the obvious.” , he spoke. “There’s nothing that I enjoy more than the calls with _my_ _fiancé.”_ , putting an emphasis on the word.

“Why else would I call you out of nowhere at roughly 11 AM in the morning? I love doing that.” , he snickered as Karl stood speechless.

“Talking to you, hearing your voice, the way you get annoyed so easily. It’s fun. _It entertains me_ ” , he continued. Following his previous statement.

“I love you, Karl Jacobs.”, it was an obvious joke, indulging in an emphatic burst of laughter. The words felt sincere, yet so clearly fake. It was plain and simple, it couldn’t have been more visible to him, that the words he spoke were just antics. A lie, something not real, and no matter how much he would try to convince himself these words were true, they weren’t.

Yet at the back of his mind, a small part of him wanted to convince himself, to fall into those lies, these jokes and believe them. To so straightforwardly fall into spoken lies and not escape them. To forever be ‘loved’ by him, even though they were blatantly false. 

He wanted to do that, so badly.

His heart pounding at a rapid speed, so fast it was almost hurtful. Suffering slightly, as an even bigger rush of pink befell his cheeks. Emerging and showing themselves so clearly, that if anyone was near him, they would be able to see it so clearly. Beet-red and vividly fiery. Not planning to slow down any time soon, his head spinning at those words. Yearning rushing through his mind, the thought of Sapnap and nobody else. There was not a single other person on his mind at that moment, only him. The beating so fast, he felt like it was going to jump out of his chest and escape him. It drops and then beats at a fast speed, the aching almost painful. Subduing him in shame.

Endless thoughts and misery running through his mind.

_‘Being a hopeless romantic isn’t fun.’_

Catching his breath and trying to get his grip together, trying to say something. To talk back and whisper the same words back to him, but he was too scared. That it would be too sincere and that Sapnap would find out. About his love for his best friend.

“Jeez, how cheesy.”, was the only thing he could mutter out. Almost spilling out his thoughts, stuttering on his words and breath slightly. 

“Being cheesy isn’t bad.”, Sapnap answered.

“Never said it was, it was just- unexpected, to say the least.”

“Did you not enjoy my love confession? What are you going to do with it, _Karl Jacobs?_ Are you going to accept my feelings or coldly reject me?” his words were followed by an overdramatic whimper and a fake sound of sadness. Karl couldn’t help but laugh helplessly at the dork, allowing himself to be at peace with himself.

The endless burning in his chest slowing down, calming down his nerves and breathing in heavily. In and out.

“We’re already fiances. Did you forget? We’re going to get married anyways.”, he snickered and laughed softly at the other’s idiotic acting.

“Well, just because we’re going to get married doesn’t mean that you love me back. Do you want us to divorce? I need a confirmation , _Karl_. Do you know how many couples divorce yearly, because they weren’t honest with each other? A lot.”

A laughter came from both sides, filling up the call and deafening out all the other noises surrounding them.

Just the two of them.

“Oh, my! I would hate for that to happen!”, an exaggerated sigh of shock left his lips. Engaging in the roleplay, going along with his dramatization. “Allow me to tell you, just how ardently I admire and love you!”, he continued his dramatics. 

Sapnap gasped dramatically, “Oh gosh! I’m so happy, I’m about to cry!” , a fake cry emerged from his voice, fakely sniffing and sobbing like a woman in a ‘coming of age’ movie. “Now, we can be together. Til fate may tear us apart.”

“Wasn’t the saying different?”, Karl asked, still giggling.

“Who cares, really.”, Sapnap groaned, playful annoyance in his tone. 

The two fell silent, quickly followed by another wave of laughter. Wheezing and endearing themselves in contagious hysterical laughs and giggles. Barely able to get a fresh breath of air, both of their chests hurting from the motion.

As they have finally calmed down, profound feelings of harmony filled up the call. Although both of them remained silent, it wasn’t unbearable, nor did it sting. 

It was quiet, but pleasant. It felt nice.

The silence was loving.

“Hey, uhm.”, Sapnap started. “I’m going to be streaming later, want to hop in? Not now, of course. Probably in like five hours or so.”, he continued, rushing through his words. 

“You don’t normally stream that early.”, Karl put one of his hands on the kitchen counter, as the other remained on the phone. Holding onto it tightly with his limp fingers. “I can hop in, I’m free all day.”

“Great-”, he coughed, interrupting his words. “See you later, then?”, he finished. Hiding the joy in his tone, failing to do so.

“Yeah, talk to you later.”

“Yeah, bye bye.”

The call ended.

This time, the silence felt odd. The feeling of losing something, a void in his heart. The pounding finally slowed down. The sound of Sapnap’s voice felt so loving, acutely caressing the strings of his heart.Unknowingly- or knowingly making his toes curl up, his breath hitch and fall for him all over again. 

“I’ll be damned if he continues doing _that_.”

A sigh. 

The feeling of emptiness surrounded him, the sun came in through the curtains and the singing of birds was able to be heard on the other side of the window.

As Karl sat there, still trying to take it all in.

  
  
  
  


**Author's Note:**

> Allow me to self promote.
> 
> Twitter : @Detective_Vic  
> Instagram : _simplyvic
> 
> I post a lot of Dream SMP related artwork.


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